Content

1. EXT. HUMAN BEACH, NIGHT · 0:00–0:50 · A

Purpose: open as a straight heist thriller. The audience shouldn't yet know these are actors.

Beats: in moonlight, four silhouettes crawl up the sand in tactical gear. Chonksy narrates in a gravel heist-movie voice-over.

Jokes:

• Chonksy (VO): "Twenty-five minutes. That's how long a chonk lasts on land before he becomes jerky."
• Seabear, checking his water-pack gauge: "Mine says nine." Chonksy: "Then you have nine."
• Navy Seal army-crawls past everyone with terrifying intensity, then stops to eat a sand flea.
• Chonksy (VO): "We're the best in the ocean at what we do." Cut to Seabear's water pack springing a leak that sprays straight up like a whale spout.

Visual gag: the team moves in a perfect formation, except Seabear, who is enormous and white on a black beach.

Button, Chonksy (VO): "What we do is steal movies."

2. INT. ACQUISITIONS COMMAND ROOM · 0:50–1:30 · B

Beats: Chumpy runs comms with a bag of snacks. Seaver points at a crayon blueprint. Platrick is on the radio.

Jokes:

• Seaver briefs on human architecture: "Food room. Glowing rectangle. And the green problem." Chumpy: "The lawn?" Seaver: "We don't say its name."
• Platrick: "Cool cool cool. Team one, you are… cool."
• The plant: Chumpy's phone buzzes. MOM. He silences it. It buzzes again. He silences it. It comes through on the comms channel: "CHUMPY ARE YOU EATING." Everyone on the beach freezes.

Button, Chumpy: "…She always knows."

3. INT. HUMAN LIVING ROOM · 1:30–2:10 · A

Beats: Chonksy and Seabear slip in. Human feet. They freeze as toys in the toy basket.

Jokes:

• A cat on the couch watches them the whole time and says nothing. Chonksy (VO): "A dog wants to kill you. A cat wants you to know it could."
• Seabear's toy pose is a bodybuilder flex, and he holds it with total commitment.
• Chonksy grabs the DVD case off the footrest and reads the cover: it's a heist movie. Chonksy: "We're stealing a heist movie. During a heist." Seabear, moved: "Is very meta."

Button: the cat slowly pushes a glass off the side table. It shatters. Every light in the house comes on.

4. EXT. SURF, NIGHT · 2:10–2:30 · A

Beats: the team flees into the waves. Off camera, a bark.

Joke: all four scream "DOG!" at the same moment, a perfect chord. Navy Seal dives holding the crate overhead like the Lion King.

Title card: SEACHONKS, as the waves close over them.

5. EXT. CHONK STUDIOS LOT, DAWN · 2:30–3:30 · A

Purpose: a mockumentary tour of "How Chonk Studios Works," in Chonksy's deadpan voice-over over a montage.

Beats: the jellyfish studio sign flickers on. Soundstages wake up. A hermit crab pushes a prop cart.

Jokes:

• Chonksy (VO): "Chonk Studios. Ninety years of entertainment. Zero original ideas. Like a family business."
• A tour group of tourist fish photographs everything, including a trash can.
• The plant: a mural on the soundstage wall shows chonk film history, and one section of it has been painted over, sloppily. Nobody looks at it.

Button: a crab unrolls a banner over the painted-over section: NOW SHOWING: SPACESHARKS.

6. INT. THE ARCHIVE · 3:30–4:30 · B

Beats: Seaver sorts the night's haul into three bins: BANGERS, MID, HUMANS BEING WEIRD.

Jokes:

• A home-workout DVD goes into WEIRD. Seaver: "Why would you run in place? Run TO a place."
• A cooking show goes into BANGERS, and Seabear (off) calls "Thank you."
• A wedding video goes into WEIRD, then out, then back in. Seaver is genuinely conflicted. "They cried. Then they ate cake. Structurally, it's two events."
• The plant: Seaver checks the heist DVD's spine for structural integrity before he checks the title.

Button: Chumpy wanders in with a donut. "Anything good?" Seaver: "Everything's good. Nothing's ours." He doesn't hear himself say it.

7. INT. THE ORCA'S OFFICE (THE GREENLIGHT) · 4:30–5:40 · B

Beats: the Orca, in a bathrobe, throws a fish at a wall of titles. It lands between three covers.

Jokes:

• Orca: "Make all three." Assistant: "They're three different space movies." Orca: "Then nobody can sue us. We're stealing from EVERYONE, sweetheart."
• The Orca's desk toy is a perpetual-motion clam. He stares at it the way people stare at fish tanks.
• Assistant: "Title?" The Orca throws a second fish. It hits SHARKS and SPACE. "SPACESHARKS."

Button: the Orca, alone, quietly asks his assistant to leave the door open "so I can hear people." Plant: the Orca is lonely.

8. INT. CHONKSY'S DRESSING ROOM · 5:40–7:30 · A/B

Purpose: establish the friendship.

Beats: fan mail. Chonksy is genuinely famous. Chumpy "produces," meaning he eats Chonksy's craft services.

Jokes:

• A fan letter reads: "I saw your remake of the human movie 42 times. Who are YOU, though?" Chonksy puts it in a drawer full of letters asking the same thing.
• Chumpy, mid-muffin: "I should get in shape. Everyone here is so… shaped." Eats another muffin. "Starting Tuesday. Not this one."
• Chonksy: "What do you actually do here?" Chumpy: "I'm a producer." Chonksy: "What do you produce?" Chumpy: "…Ideas. Vibes. Moral support. I produce a feeling that things are produced."
• Chonksy: "How do you afford your apartment?" Chumpy: "Next question." Chonksy: "That was the only question." (A running gag starts here.)
• Gotter's photo hangs on the wall: the founder of Acquisitions, decorated, young.

Button: a PA (a crab) knocks: "Five minutes, Mr. Chonksy." Chonksy's face drops into professional mode instantly. Chumpy, impressed: "It's like a light switch." Chonksy: "It's like a job."

9. EXT. LOT, WALK TO SET · 7:30–8:20 · A

Beats: a walk-and-talk across the lot. Everyone stops and stands: Gotter, ancient, shuffles past with his cane.

Jokes:

• Gotter raises his hand to salute, and falls asleep mid-salute, standing up. Nobody moves. They wait. Fifteen seconds. He wakes, finishes the salute, keeps walking.
• Chumpy, whispering: "He started Acquisitions. Before him we only had the Big Haul." Chonksy: "What was before the Big Haul?" Beat. Chumpy: "…The Great Flop?" Chonksy, unsatisfied: "Hm."

Plant: Gotter glances at Chumpy, not Chonksy, and nods. Chumpy nods back. Chonksy notices and files it away.

10. INT. SPACESHARKS SET · 9:00–11:00 · A

Beats: behind the scenes. A cardboard spaceship, bubble stars, puppet sharks on poles. Chonksy is genuinely great.

Jokes:

• The Sharl (technical advisor): "In space, sharks do not swim. They… vibe." Director: "And you know this how?" Sharl: "[PAUSE FOR LAUGH]." Nobody laughs. The Sharl writes something in a notebook.
• Red eats the control panel. Prop master: "That was the only one." Red: "Bet."
• Blue, deep in a scene, whispers to Chonksy: "This is fine. Everything is fine," about her own performance.
• A shark puppet's pole breaks and the shark "swims" sideways into frame on its own. The take keeps going. It's the best take.

Heart sliver: Chonksy delivers the big line perfectly, and the crew applauds. He smiles, then the smile fades a little. It's not his line.

11. INT. CRAFT SERVICES TENT · 11:00–12:10 · C

Beats: Seabear runs craft services between takes and turns it into a cooking show nobody asked for.

Jokes:

• Seabear: "In Arctic Shelf, we have saying: the fish you do not eat today, eats you tomorrow." Platrick: "That's not a saying." Seabear: "Is now."
• He threatens a grip for skipping lunch, then hands him a plate. "Have you eaten? You have now."
• The plant: Seabear films himself cooking on a phone propped on a soup pot. His follower count ticks up when he's upset.

Button: Chumpy takes three plates. Seabear: "Chumpy, you are producer of my heart."

12. INT. DUBBING STAGE · 12:10–13:40 · A

Purpose: how Chonk Studios "translates" human movies.

Beats: the actors watch the human original on a big monitor, then perform their version.

Jokes:

• The dub director (a pufferfish): "We don't speak human. We translate the vibe." The human on screen yells something heroic. Seabear translates it as: "I am very upset about the soup."
• The human on screen cries. Blue translates it perfectly in one take. Everyone is uncomfortable with how good she is.
• Chonksy watches a human pause before a line, the way people do when they're inventing it. He rewinds it. Rewinds it again.

Button: the pufferfish: "Chonksy? Your line?" Chonksy: "Sorry. I was watching him decide."

13. INT. SPACESHARKS SET, PICKUP SHOT · 13:40–15:30 · A

Purpose: plant the season. Chonksy changes one word.

Beats: a simple pickup line. Chonksy says it with one word changed, quietly, and it lands better. The script supervisor, a crab, freezes.

Jokes:

• Script crab: "…Line?" Chonksy: "Sorry. Habit." Chumpy, from video village: "Was that a choice?" Chonksy: "No."
• The whole crew is a little shaken, in the way you'd be if someone sneezed in church.
• The Orca, on the walkie: "Did somebody… write?" Everyone: "NO."

Button: take 2, the line exactly as written. Everyone exhales. Chonksy's eyes stay down.

14. INT. SOUNDSTAGE WRAP PARTY · 15:30–17:40 · A/B

Beats: streamers and a kelp cake. Red does "the Great Flop" as a party bit, the city's favorite joke.

Jokes:

• Red, imitating an ancient chonk director: "Action! …Wait, what were we doing? Ooh, a shell!" Huge laughs. "Chonks can't direct!" The room chants it back.
• Seabear laughs so hard he cries, then threatens anyone who saw.
• On a TV in the corner, the pufferfish anchor on Current News reports the SPACESHARKS trailer drop, inflating slightly with excitement. (The puffer-inflation runner starts here.)
• Chumpy gets cake on his face, which is the picture in panel 1.7.

Heart: Chonksy is the only one not laughing. Chumpy notices, and keeps laughing, but softer.

16. INT. UPPER KELPWOOD LOBBY · 19:30–20:00 · B

Beats: the lobster doorman greets Chonksy warmly, then eyes Chumpy every single time.

Joke: Doorman: "Mr. Chumpy." Chumpy: "Gerald." Doorman: "My name is Raymond." Chumpy: "And yet."

17. INT. CHONKSY'S APARTMENT · 20:00–20:30 · A

Beats: alone. He puts on the stolen heist movie and rewinds to the human pausing before his line. Chonksy mouths his own version. He writes it on a napkin, then hides the napkin inside a book on the shelf.

Visual plant: the book is thick with napkins. He's been doing this for years.

18. INT. DARK SPACESHARKS SET · 20:30–22:00 · C

Beats: the soundstage is empty. Only the Sharl remains, floating by the cardboard spaceship, looking up through the roof hatch at the stars shimmering beyond the water.

Joke and plant: the Sharl flickers and whispers, very sincerely, "[PAUSE FOR LAUGH]." Then, quieter: "…They're getting closer." It turns off the work light itself, with its fin. Smash cut to credits.

Gag ledger (EP 1 plants)

• Chumpy's mom calls in Scene 2. It escalates through every op.
• "How do you afford your apartment?" starts in Scene 8.
• "I should get in shape" starts in Scene 8.
• "DOG!" starts in Scene 4.
• The cat knows in Scene 3. It pays off in Ep 3 and Ep 9.
• Gotter falls asleep mid-salute in Scene 9. In Ep 5, he was awake.
• The painted-over mural in Scenes 5 and 15. In Ep 6, it showed the First Wave.
• The Orca leaves the door open in Scene 7. In Ep 10, he watches alone.
• The pufferfish anchor inflates starting in Scene 14.
• The Sharl's "[PAUSE FOR LAUGH]" in Scenes 10 and 18. In Ep 10, the sharks are real.
• Chonksy's napkin lines in Scene 17. In Ep 7, they become the script.

21. REMAKE CLIP: "BREAKING BADD" · slot: after Scene 5

• The last Chonk Studios hit, shown as finished footage: Seabear as a mild-mannered chemistry teacher with a gold chain under his lab coat, cooking a famous blue kelp in a trailer.
• The remake's big line: "Say my name." Rival: "…Seabear?" Seabear: "Is correct. Also, have you eaten?"
• It's obviously shot on the soundstage: the desert is a painted backdrop and the trailer is cardboard. It's a phenomenon anyway.

22. THE CITY WATCHING: DINER, HOME, STORE WINDOW · slot: under Scene 14

• A diner: a fry-cook fish mouths every line of the Breaking Badd remake on the wall TV while flipping kelp patties.
• A living room: a family of otters watches together. Grandpa: "It was better the first time." He never saw the first time. Nobody has.
• An electronics store window: a wall of TVs, a crowd of fish on the sidewalk, and a hermit crab in front saying the lines a half-second before the actors.

30. FLASH-FORWARD: THE NAPKIN · before Scene 1

• Six wordless seconds, desaturated. A kelp-paper napkin burns with seafire, the green fire only the state is allowed to light. It drifts down an apartment hallway, trailing silver bubbles. There's a soup-bowl ring on it and one line in Chonksy's handwriting we can't read yet. Hard cut to the moonlit beach.

31. RUNNER BEGINS: BALANCE THE BALL · during the store-window crowd, Scene 22

• A sea-pup in the crowd recognizes him and tosses a ball. Chonksy, the most famous actor in the ocean, catches it on his nose without thinking. The crowd roars. He holds it there, smiling, dead behind the eyes, for exactly as long as a seal is supposed to. He's a performing seal doing someone else's trick, and the whole season is in that shot.
• The small fish (pale blue, lunchbox) is in the crowd. It doesn't clap. It's looking at the TV.

40. THE IMPROVISATION CLAUSE · Scene 8, dressing room · Seinfeld

• Business Affairs, an eel in a cardigan, reads Chonksy his contract renewal while the makeup crab works.
• Eel: "Clause nine. Improvisation. Changing a line. Any line. Any word." Chonksy: "Any word?" Eel: "Including 'the.'" (beat) "Especially 'the.' You change 'the shark' to 'a shark,' now it's a shark. Which shark? Nobody knows. Panic in the theater. Fish trampled."
• Penalty: the Archive, for life. Through the window we see the Archive's sorters: chonks who changed words, sorting forever. One waves. It's a slow wave.
• He signs. The pen is a squid, who inks the signature himself and says "Congrats."
• This makes Scene 12 ("now" → "together") a felony. The laugh sets the stakes.

41. THE NAVY SEAL'S DEBRIEF · Scene 2, command room · Gillis

• Navy Seal (flat, like describing a roof job): "Humans were asleep. Big one, little one, dog. Dog woke up. Dog looked at me. I looked at the dog." (beat) "And we both understood. Neither of us is allowed on the couch." (beat) "Took the DVD. Left the dog. Above my pay grade. Arf."
• Gotter is asleep mid-salute.

42. THE GREENLIGHT SERMON · Scene 7, the Orca's office · Rock

• The Orca (fish in hand, preaching): "There's a difference between a movie and a remake. A movie, you gotta think. A remake? The thinking's DONE. Some human, years ago, sat in a room sweating, crying, drinking, and you know what we pay that human?" (throws the fish) "NOTHING. That's not stealing. That's the business."
• Chonksy: "What if we paid them?" The Orca: "With what? They live in the AIR."